Is it Time to Step Back From Love?

Romance and relationships are wonderful.  They enrich our lives and bring most of us increased feelings of connection, self-esteem and well-being.  Recent studies have found that the increased incidence of love and sex improves our outlook on life and enhances our health.

The opposite is also true, being in a relationship where you are feeling or being treated badly can impact your sense of self and well being.  

The early stage of a love relationship is called the honeymoon period—a time of blissful happiness. But after that phase, unlike what we see in traditional chick-flick movies, the passion may begin to wane as the realities of each partner surface.

Many people have a fairy tale picture of what a lasting relationship looks like or simply do not understand what it takes to remain connected after the initial fire fades. Often the physical attraction and the lust take the lead in mate selection. But, in order for a relationship to last, it must develop beyond just a physical connection. As time passes emotional connections and friendship is what fuels the long lasting love fires.

People tend to wait until they get comfortable with each other—typically three months or longer—before they reveal information that might have been a turnoff at first acquaintance. Time usually leads to disclosure of problems such as substance abuse, chronic unemployment, debt, anger management issues or other possible “deal breakers” which  may cause you to question your choice.

Lack of knowledge about your love interest can lead to unhealthy choices.

        (his/her finances may need life support)

If you are not being authentic with each other, it is very difficult for the relationship to grow.

Revelations aside, someone’s behavior may change in the context of new realities, like work pressures or family discord. These changes may alter how you feel about the person. If you find yourself in relationships that ultimately don’t meet your needs, before moving on to the next love connection, take a Time Out from Love and focus on yourself.  A healthy love relationship begins with you!

 
Are you ready for a healthy relationship? Ask yourself these questions to know:

Do you really know what you want or need?

How well are you taking care of yourself?

 
(Do you take care of you mind, body and spirit? (for example, are you eating well, getting enough sleep and nurturing your spirit by refraining from self-judgment?)

Do you make time to nourish your special skills and talents?

 
Is your work a reflection of your true abilities?

Does your living space reflect the person you truly are?

If your answers to these questions are “no,” then you might consider examining how you feel about yourself. You can start by reflecting upon your inner thoughts and feelings. And if, for example, you find your self-esteem is low then it may be the time for you to begin work on becoming your Best Self.

Do something healthy for yourself every day. Take care of yourself daily, like a terrific parent would take care of a child. Physical, intellectual and emotional well-being is key.

Your relationship with yourself affects your relationships with others. It is important to truly know yourself so that you can begin to recognize your relationship patterns. Remember, no relationship can be healthier than you are!

Take Time out to Grow.

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