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Perhaps If, Whitney Had the Help of a Therapist…

“The biggest devil is me. I’m either my best friend or my worst enemy,” Whitney told Diane Sawyer in a 2002 interview with her then-husband Bobby Brown. Brown, who had a bad-boy image, would be arrested several times over the years on DUI charges and failure to pay child support. It was the prelude to the epic fall of a superstar with a once squeaky-clean image, religious roots and spiritual influence.

Interestingly, Whitney commented that their personalities were not that far apart. In 1993, she told Rolling Stone “When you love, you love. I mean, do you stop loving somebody because you have different images? You know, Bobby and I basically come from the same place.” She later revealed that it was around this time that she became drug dependent. She suffered anxiety, unable to meet expectations and continue at that level of success. She began to care about herself less and less, evidenced by drug abuse, poor judgment and public meltdowns. Like many superstars, she was surrounded by people who were dependent on her and  who also enabled her.  Whitney could not get a reality check! Continue reading

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Is Your Date or Mate Healthy Enough for You?

The early months of dating are fun and exciting, but a successful long-term relationship requires ongoing effort and compromise by both partners. To establish a solid foundation, each partner must be emotionally healthy. Before you commit to a new relationship or move forward with an existing one, find out just how healthy (or not) your partner is. Continue reading

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Change Is The Only Constant

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” – John Allen Paulos

Most people like change as long as it doesn’t affect them. While change can be exciting and may lead to growth, most of us dread the unknown. Fear of the future is at the core of most resistance to change. We may ask ourselves, “what if things don’t work out, what if I fail, what if things get worse, what if….”? Continue reading

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Your “Virtual” Personal Board of Directors

As people and professionals, we all have obstacles, gaps and blind spots that prevent us from reaching our career goals. Historically, young adults were encouraged to engage a mentor for personal development, educational pursuits, career advancement and networking. In today’s ultra-competitive job market, having a mentor is just not enough. A Virtual Personal Board of Directors (VPBOD) – instant access to a robust consortium of resources – is now a “must have” for navigating all the stages of a successful career. Continue reading

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Love and The Art of Fair Fighting

Learning the Art of Fair Fighting is essential to a lasting relationship. Many people view fighting as bad and destructive. It is important to accept that no two people think or feel exactly alike; disagreements are unavoidable and are a natural part of all relationships. 

Think of fighting as an effort to negotiate differences in a relationship. The trick is to learn to negotiate in a manner that is mature and respectful. How you fight will enhance or damage your relationship. Disagreements about money, household chores, sex, parenting, jobs, extended family, time and socialization are all universal grievances that lead to fights. Continue reading

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Love and Friendship: The Ties That Bind

Authentic friendship is the key to long-term healthy and happy relationships.

During the course of a lifetime, most people report having had lovers that have come and gone but friendships that have stood the test of time. There is no doubt that combining love and friendship makes for a stronger lasting connection.

Research shows that one of the primary predictors of a successful long-term relationship is having a strong friendship at the base. Fun, collaboration, trust, good interaction and dependability comprise the foundation of a high-quality friendship — and are necessary for a long-term, fulfilling relationship. In other words, having a deep friendship greatly enhances the quality of an intimate relationship.  Continue reading

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Bromance & Romance

The Urban Dictionary defines the term bromance as “the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males.” Now you know why this term is not widely recognized!  Many men are reluctant to admit that they are involved in a “bromance”, even despite the increased publicizing of the term in recent years due to popular television shows.

Throughout history, close-knit emotional relationships are generally what women have been known for. Women can easily tell girlfriends that they love them, and even show physical affection towards them without fear of disapproval. Men on the other hand, are often restrained by the stereotype of masculinity, and what it means to be a real man. Historical roles and societal pressures frequently force men to hide the fact that they are emotionally attached to their buddies. Due to the impact of homophobia, sadly, many straight men feel as if they must make extra effort to prove to the world that they are,  straight. Continue reading

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Love & Money

 

The checkbook is often the primary reason for fights and failed relationships! Yet, money is often the least discussed topic prior to couples committing.Whether you have a lot or a little, one thing is universal to all: some amount of agreement on money matters is crucial for the survival of a healthy relationship.

 Discussions about money are often delayed or never had until after a commitment. Most of us grew up with the belief that discussing money is not polite and should remain private. Therefore, warning signs of money troubles are often ignored especially if everything else seems right. This is especially true if the person is overspending in the name of love e.g. gifts, restaurants, trips, outfits, etc…since you are not privy to the entire financial picture, it is easy to believe that the person is financially responsible and generous. Continue reading

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First, Work on Yourself!

It is not about finding the right person, it is about being the right person. Many of us spend years trying to find the right person to make us happy and whole.

Healthy connections with others begin with you. Self-care is the key. You can learn to be your best self at whatever age you are.


Are you one of the many people who make an effort to look good because you want to attract someone? Then, when you find someone, you let things slide. You’re too tired. You may not keep up things you used to enjoy; you stop coloring your hair, watching the pounds and exercising, etc. You may gradually relax and before you know it, you aren’t feeling interesting, attractive or desirable. Self care must remain on the top of your list regardless of your relationship status. Caring for your self is the first step of being in a caring relationship. You cannot give what you don’t have! Continue reading

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Friends are needed to Balance Love Relationships

 
Good friendships have a positive and healthful effect on our lives.  They make good times better and bad times bearable.  It seemed easier when we were younger; common interests systematically pooled us with others like us, if only by age and aptitude.

 

Once we leave the sandbox though, friends become a little trickier to define and keep. Many people drop their friends as soon as they become involved with a potential partner, or spend all of their friendship time talking about their partner.

It is natural to get caught up in a relationship, especially in its beginning stages, so it is very important to stop yourself for a second and reflect on whether your friendships are suffering from lack of attention. I am not suggesting that a friendship should receive an equal amount of time as a love relationship, but I am suggesting that friendships are helpful in balancing your life by not putting too much undo pressure on your significant other. Continue reading

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