Last week, we began to explore why and how people “take the edge off.” We all need ways to manage our stress, anxiety, and disappointment. The question is whether the strategies we choose help us process our emotions or help us avoid them.
There is a distinct difference between healthy coping and avoidance. Healthy coping will reduce intense emotional feelings so you can gain clarity. Avoidance will numb or distract you for now, but leaves the original tension intact.
In her book Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown teaches us that “taking the edge off” is emotional numbing that brings only brief relief from pain. She notes that it is not rewarding, as it blocks us from feeling joy.
Here are more ways people avoid difficult feelings:
🟡 Compulsive eating and drinking
🟡 Constantly checking email
🟡 Habitual visits to a dispensary
🟡 Excessive daydreaming or fantasizing
🟡 Overworking and perfectionism
🟡 Constant planning or researching
🟡 Always saying “yes” to help others
🟡 Filling time with errands or projects
🟡 Ruminating rather than problem solving
🟡 Taking care of others while neglecting yourself
🟡 Intellectualizing emotions rather than feeling them
Everyone distracts themselves at times. But rather than eliminating difficult feelings, seek to reduce their intensity so you can face them more easily. The goal is to choose your strategies wisely, focusing on those that restore and replenish—not keep you stuck or make things worse.
Questions to Ask Yourself
As you begin to “take the edge off,” take a moment to ask:
🟡 How am I feeling right now?
🟡 Will this help me deal with my feelings or avoid them?
🟡 Is this the best choice I could make right now?
8 Healthy Ways to “Take the Edge Off”
🟡 Taking a walk
🟡 Calling a friend
🟡 Meditation
🟡 Stretching
🟡 Practicing deep breathing
🟡 Gardening
🟡 Listening to music
🟡 Taking a warm bath or shower
🟡 Creating something (drawing, knitting)
🟡 Watching a funny movie
If the world gets too heavy, and you’re feeling overwhelmed, you may want to consider a 12-step program (below). There are programs for every type of coping behavior that has become excessive.